2013년 11월 22일 금요일

Adrianne Cerezo 's blog ::Oregon Adventures - 2010







Adrianne Cerezo 's blog ::Oregon Adventures - 2010








               It               was               a               Saturday               night               when               I               left               to               go               to               my               father's               funeral.

I               almost               missed               the               Greyhound               to               Modesto.

I               was               already               running               late,               and               then               I               got               jumped.



You               know               the               downtown               neighborhood               around               the               bus               station               in               San               Francisco?

That               last               half               mile               around               the               highway?

Outside               of               bankers'               hours               that               whole               part               of               town               is               shut               down,               with               lit               street               corridors               between               the               train               stops               and               a               few               of               the               major               financial               district               buildings               that               might               have               all-hours               staff.

My               bus               left               at               midnight               sharp,               so               I               went               the               short               way               around               through               the               unlit               area               to               save               time.

As               I               headed               down               the               last               street               before               the               circle               of               floodlights               that               surrounded               the               bus               station,               a               jumper               held               a               little               green               dot               on               my               chest               from               an               alley.
               I'm               a               sensible               man.

I               kept               my               side               of               the               rules.

I               went               immediately               over               to               the               mouth               of               the               alley               and               held               my               hands               out               from               my               sides,               moving               slowly.
               The               jumper               kept               his               side               of               the               rules.
               He               just               gestured               and               grunted               as               I               emptied               my               pockets               and               showed               him               (some)               of               what               I               had.

He               never               searched               me               or               asked               me               to               open               my               backpack.

He               poked               his               finger               at               the               short               stack               of               plastic               I               held               out               and               thumbed               two               of               the               cards               off               the               top,               leaving               me               the               rest.

He               peeled               five               or               six               hundred               dollars               in               paper               from               the               outside               of               my               roll               (I'd               figure               out               exactly               how               much               later)               and               waved               me               on               down               the               street.
               He               wasn't               all               that               impressive-looking               and               maybe               I               could               have               taken               him               but               why               risk               it?

He               kept               the               rules.

I               kept               the               rules.

No               one               got               hurt.

I'm               grateful               to               him.
               It               was               my               own               fault.

I'd               been               careless.

I               should               have               gone               the               long               way               around               on               the               Embarcadero               by               the               dikes               that               held               back               the               Bay,               where               the               all-night               street               lights               and               cameras               are.
               I               zig-zagged               down               the               lit               area               in               the               center               of               the               street               and               made               it               to               the               floodlight               perimeter               around               the               bus               station               in               seconds,               but               the               jumper               had               used               up               whatever               time               I               had               saved               by               going               the               shorter               way               around.
               So               I               rushed               into               the               bus               station               all               out               of               breath               and               almost               missed               the               bus.

I               printed               out               my               ticket               at               home,               and               Security               had               already               approved               my               travel,               but               I               had               to               stop               at               the               counter               for               some               water               and               food               bars               and               the               last               passenger               had               already               gone               through               the               scanners.

They               were               starting               to               roll               the               stairs               up               into               the               bus               when               I               crossed               the               thick               white               painted               line               marking               off               the               security               area.



I               took               off               my               shoes,               my               belt,               and               my               metal-rimmed               glasses,               and               put               them               on               the               conveyor               belt               with               my               backpack.

I               walked               on,               holding               my               breath               and               with               a               grin               pasted               on               my               face.

I               was               hoping               like               hell               the               little               chip               and               battery               on               the               elastic               band               around               my               gun               worked               like               Nick               on               Market               Street               promised               me               it               would.

If               the               field               it               produced               was               as               strong               as               he               said               it               was,               it               would               not               only               mask               my               gun               from               the               scanner,               it               would               obscure               sensor               readings               of               everything               else               in               my               lower               regions.

My               interest               in               this               was               somewhat               more               than               just               abstract.

I               had               three               packs               of               tobacco,               a               sealed               bottle               of               whiskey,               and               there               were               two               ebooks               on               my               phone               that               were               not               on               the               Approved               list.

Sure,               the               gun               was               illegal,               but               everyone               had               'em.

Most               cops               would               just               wave               me               on               for               it,               but               the               other               stuff               meant               fines               or               time               behind               razor               wire.
               But               I               had               to               have               'em.

I               was               traveling,               and               people               aren't               always               willing               to               trade               things               for               money.
               I               held               out               my               ticket               with               the               Security               "approved"               logo,               my               vaccination               card,               and               my               state               ID.

Blue               lasers               flickered               across               them,               and               then               there               was               a               white               flash               in               my               eyes               as               Security               checked               my               retinas               to               verify               that               I               was               me               (and               the               same               me               that               had               gotten               approval               to               travel).

I               trotted               across               the               grid.

There               was               no               alarm.

No               one               stopped               me.

Bored               security               guards               waved               me               through               and               gave               me               my               little               tray               back               with               my               shoes               and               backpack               and               stuff.
               I               dumped               my               shoes               onto               the               ground               out               of               the               tray               and               stepped               into               them,               zipped               them               up,               gathered               up               my               things               and               slung               my               backpack               over               one               shoulder               and               shoved               my               wallet               and               keys               back               in               my               pockets.

I               ran               towards               the               bus               gate               with               an               itching               feeling               between               my               shoulder               blades               but               no               one               shouted               "Stop!"
               Nick               had               gotten               me               a               working               scanner               blinder.

I               resolved               to               investigate               whatever               other               bargains               might               be               found               at               the               rear               entrance               of               his               little               Market               Street               stall.
               When               I               got               to               the               gate               the               bus               door               was               just               starting               to               close               and               the               heavy               armor               creaked               as               it               stopped,               then               reopened.

The               irritated               driver               scowled               down               at               me               from               his               seat               but               I               smiled               at               him               and               thanked               him               warmly               and               rushed               up               the               stairs               into               the               bus.
               He               slammed               the               door               behind               me               and               it               sealed               with               a               whuff               and               my               ears               popped.

The               bus               started               to               move               a               little               before               I               was               behind               the               white               line               marked               "Do               Not               Stand               In               Front               Of               This               Line"               but               it               wasn't               too               bad,               I               could               stand.

I               looked               down               the               aisle,               swinging               my               backpack               by               one               strap               over               my               shoulder.
               The               good               news               was               there               were               three               seats               left.

The               bad               news               was               that               they               were               those               last               three               next               to               the               bathroom.
               I               basically               ran               down               the               aisle               between               the               rows               of               seats               as               the               bus               jerked               and               shimmied               on               the               tight               turn               out               of               the               bus               terminal               onto               the               highway               to               the               Bridge               to               the               mainland.

I               don't               think               I               banged               against               anyone               with               my               bag               but               I               did               stub               my               toe               as               I               sat               down               rather               suddenly               when               I               reached               the               back               of               the               bus               right               at               the               point               the               driver               accelerated               particularly               quickly.
               Damn.

I               was               going               to               be               sitting               right               next               to               the               frigging               bathroom.

Perhaps               some               of               my               fellow               passengers               were               shorter-distance               commuters               and               as               we               headed               east,               some               people               would               get               off               and               open               up               some               a               better               seats.
               Once               upon               a               time,               even               for               awhile               right               after               the               Emergency               started,               it               had               only               been               a               matter               of               a               couple-three               hours               to               go               from               the               City,               County               and               Island               of               San               Francisco               to               the               city               of               Modesto               in               San               Joaquin               County,               in               California's               central               valley.

Now,               it               would               be               more               like               eight               hours.
               I               was               overly               optimistic.

The               sun               came               up,               and               we               still               didn't               move.

Six-plus               hours               had               passed,               and               we               were               still               waiting               to               cross               the               Bay               Bridge               to               the               mainland.
               I               spent               the               time               watching               people               walk               down               the               aisle               past               my               seat               to               the               bathroom,               as               the               bus               idled               with               full               armor               seal               and               it               got               stuffy               inside.

We               were               awaiting               the               resolution               of               a               jurisdictional               dispute               at               the               checkpoint               maintained               by               the               SF               Bay               Area               Regional               Authority               at               the               exit               from               the               Bridge               to               the               mainland.
               When               we               first               drove               up               to               the               checkpoint               I               saw               "SFBARA"               armbands               on               the               soldiers               who               were               guarding               it.

I               heard               a               couple               of               shots               but               the               crowd               I               peered               at               through               the               darkened               bus               window               didn't               part               in               panic               and               actually               seemed               to               calm               somewhat.

The               gates               were               soon               taken               over               by               troopers               in               orange-brown               Euro               helmets,               "peacekeepers,"               and               a               sprinkling               of               U.N.

blue               helmets               appeared,               zipping               down               between               the               long               lines               of               waiting               cars               on               one-wheeled               scooters.
               I               didn't               see               any               rebels               of               any               of               the               factions,               but               a               U.S.

Army               convoy               passed               ahead               of               us,               APCs               and               hovercraft               mostly,               buzzing               down               the               highway               alongside               the               dikes               by               the               Bay.

They               also               had               choppers               and               a               couple               of               pods               whizzing               around               overhead.

One               of               them               landed               and               the               Army               people               took               over               the               gates               from               the               Euros.

The               lines               began               to               edge               forward               as               they               waved               the               first               few               vehicles               through.
               Then               they               decided               to               take               apart               the               van               in               front               of               us.
               I               sat               in               my               seat               in               the               back               of               the               bus               and               chewed               my               bus               station               food               bars               and               sipped               plasticy-tasting               water               and               wondered               why               I               was               there.
               Two               days               ago,               Thursday               night,               I               got               the               email               from               my               uncle               Bill,               who               apparently               was               now               the               only               family               I               had               left.

"Stan:               Yr               father               died               last               nite               in               his               sleep.

Funaral               is               Mon               at               Ten               in               the               AM               in               Modesto.

Come               2               my               house.

He               left               something               for               you."               So               the               chemical               poisoning               from               Dad's               Army               days               in               Iran               had               finally               caught               up               with               the               old               man.

I               knew               he               had               half               a               dozen               different               types               of               cancer.
               Most               of               my               friends               thought               I               was               crazy.

"That's               through               at               least               two               different               kinds               of               rebel               territory,"               my               roommate               Sarah               pointed               out.

"Just               'cause               there's               a               treaty               doesn't               mean               you'll               be               safe."               Her               boyfriend               Petros               was               more               to               the               point.

"You'll               get               your               silly               ass               killed."
               I               talked               with               old               Bob               Yang,               the               elderly               man               I               hung               out               with               at               the               job               center               since               getting               laid               off.

We               held               each               other's               places               in               line               when               somebody               had               to               go               to               the               rest               room,               and               traded               tips               on               applications               and               new               job               postings.

Bob               was               the               most               profoundly,               confidently               optimistic               human               being               I               have               ever               met.

According               to               him,               any               day               now               we'd               both               make               it               to               the               front               desk               before               office               hours               ended,               and               we'd               get               Reconstruction               jobs               with               full               medical.

However,               that               optimism               didn't               stop               him               from               saying               there               wouldn't               be               any               problem               holding               my               place               on               line               until               I               got               back.
               "               You               young               people               sure               like               your               adventures,"               Bob               grunted.

Hmmm.

And               that               was               the               optimist's               version.
               I'd               just               gotten               laid               off               a               couple               of               months               before.

It               had               been               a               crappy               clerical               job               in               a               law               firm               in               downtown               San               Francisco.

As               a               30-something               in               this               day               and               age,               I               never               had               any               illusions               about               a               career.

It               was               always               just               a               job.

I               milked               my               bennies               until               the               very               last,               getting               a               tooth               filled,               a               cancer               booster               to               hold               off               my               hereditary               colon               cancer,               and               a               shot               for               the               latest               flu,               on               the               very               last               day               before               the               health               coverage               cut               off.
               I               was               single,               unemployed,               and               going               to               my               father's               funeral.

Not               my               best               day.
               I               hadn't               even               been               close               to               my               father.

Yet               here               I               was,               taking               on               the               huge               ordeal               of               cross-country               traveling.

Was               it               worth               it?

All               this,               to               meet               up               with               one               old               relative               I               hardly               knew?
               Maybe               I               would               hear               a               few               words               spoken               over               a               cremation               urn?

I               wasn't               sure               of               what               Pop's               beliefs               had               been               lately               -               in               the               past               he'd               played               with               Hari               Krishnas,               the               Post-Millennials,               Jews               for               Jesus,               Tibetan               Buddhism,               and               Scientology,               along               with               a               host               of               others               I'd               never               heard               of               before.

Mom               once               told               me               that               he               was               a               different               man               when               he               came               back               from               Iran.

"You               should               have               seen               him               then,               son.

Tall,               and               proud               in               that               beautiful               uniform."               Maybe               so,               but               all               I               know               is               that               as               far               back               as               I               can               remember,               Dad               was               never               all               that               sure               about               life               in               general.

And               after               Mom               died               of               the               Flu,               he               just               seemed               to               lose               all               his               intelligence               points.
               What               could               he               have               left               for               me?

At               most               I'd               collect               some               old               papers,               maybe               some               drives               with               old               pix               on               'em.
               So,               not               much               sentiment,               and               my               family               ain't               rich,               so               there               was               no               money               or               property               to               collect.

In               fact,               knowing               my               dad,               I'd               be               lucky               if               some               arrears-collector               didn't               try               to               collect               from               me.
               I               still               don't               really               know               why               I               went.
               So               we               finally               got               across               the               bridge,               driving               quickly               through               the               light               gray               plastic               tube               that               shrouded               each               lane,               blocking               any               view               of               the               water.

The               tubing               stopped               for               a               bit,               and               I               could               see               the               shipping               cranes               towering               by               the               Bay,               but               then               we               got               near               the               security               areas               of               the               Port               of               Oakland               and               the               freeway               turned               back               into               tubes               again.

They               stopped               again               in               the               East               Bay               city               of               Oakland.



               A               bunch               of               people               got               off               the               bus               in               Oakland,               and               later               in               Livermore,               and               I               got               a               better               seat               up               near               the               front.

Once               we               got               past               the               Federal               checkpoint               at               Altamount               Pass               we               were               in               rebel               territory,               and               the               driver               had               us               all               shut               off               our               phones.

I               didn't               see               any               troops,               just               a               single               man               in               civilian               clothing               at               the               gate.

The               bus               stopped,               and               the               driver               opened               his               window               just               a               crack,               and               they               exchanged               a               few               muffled               words               through               the               opening.
               The               driver               passed               an               envelope               through,               resealed               the               window,               and               drove               slowly               down               the               almost               deserted               freeway.

I               still               didn't               see               any               troops,               but               there               were               hills               all               around               us,               and               the               bus               driver               drove               carefully               and               slowly               as               if               they               were               filled               with               rebels.

Finally,               we               came               down               out               of               the               hills               and               we               were               in               the               San               Joaquin               Valley.
               I               hadn't               been               inland               in               years.

Before               the               Emergency,               this               area               of               California               had               been               some               of               the               richest               farmland               in               North               America.

It               employed               millions,               and               fed               millions               more.

Now               there               were               large               parts               of               it               that               looked               almost               like               desert.

And               the               political               factions               had               sure               been               busy               --               we               passed               several               checkpoints,               and               then,               finally,               back               into               Federal               territory.
               Two               soldiers               came               on               the               bus,               one               in               an               armored               suit               and               the               other               in               a               regular               uniform.

The               trooper               in               camo               stood               by               the               door,               while               the               one               in               the               suit               went               through               the               bus,               big               steel               boots               clanking               as               he               made               his               way               down               the               aisle.

"ID,               vaccination               cert,               ticket,"               he               droned               through               his               helmet               speaker,               as               he               stopped               by               every               seat.
               I               held               up               my               papers.

I               couldn't               see               his               eyes               through               his               darkened               faceplate,               but               I               assume               he               thought               everything               was               okay               because               he               didn't               put               his               servo-assisted               fist               through               my               face.

Gleaming               stainless               steel               pistons               pumped               and               whined               at               his               sides               as               the               armored               suit               mimicked               his               motions.

"Nothing               here,"               his               helmet               speaker               boomed.
               He               clank-clanked               off               the               bus,               and               then               his               partner               ran               down               the               aisle,               tossing               pamphlets               in               the               laps               of               all               of               the               passengers.

"You               are               now               in               an               area               that               is               once               again               protected               by               enforcement               of               the               laws               of               the               United               States,"               the               soldier               announced               loudly.

"Please               be               advised               that               this               area               is               under               Level               Three               restrictions.

This               means               that               you               are               under               military               administration,               but               not               fully               under               martial               law.

Many               of               your               civilian               legal               protections               still               apply."
               The               soldier               grinned               and               hefted               his               rifle.

"But               don't               get               cocky,               "               he               added.

Looking               down               at               his               handheld,               he               suddenly               turned,               and               screamed               at               a               woman               sitting               near               the               front,               "No               phones               until               you               get               inside               the               city!"               She               looked               stricken               and               fumbled               with               her               cell.
               The               soldier               got               off,               and               the               bus               door               sealed               with               a               whuff,               and               the               driver               took               off.

I               looked               at               my               pamphlet.

Big               red               letters               shouted               "The               United               States               Government               Welcomes               Refugees               From               Fascism."
               They               must               have               gotten               their               pamphlets               mixed               up,               because               I               don't               think               that               last               rebel               area               we               came               through               was               Nazi,               although               it               might               have               been               Connie-land.

I               didn't               see               any               SS               lightning               bolts               tagged               on               any               of               the               overpasses,               and               I               did               see               constitutionalist               "Don't               Tread               On               Me"               decals               on               a               couple               of               truck               windshields.

But               I               also               remember               we               passed               a               couple               of               buildings               flying               the               red               banner               of               the               Workers'               Militia,               so               who               knows               what               color               the               area               would               show               on               the               maps               online?
               On               the               cover               of               the               pamphlet               there               was               a               picture               of               a               bland-looking               man               in               a               suit               and               turtleneck               who               I               didn't               recognize,               but               who               I               assume               was               the               latest               "President               of               the               United               States."               When               I               opened               it,               an               LED-lit               list               of               prohibited               items               started               strobing               and               a               chip               played               a               tinny               recording               of               "The               Star               Spangled               Banner."               It               made               a               very               satisfying               squeal               when               I               crumpled               the               pamphlet               in               my               hand.

I               heard               a               similar               noise               up               and               down               the               aisle,               echoing               from               most               of               the               occupied               seats.
               When               we               finally               pulled               up               to               the               Modesto               bus               station,               it               was               seven               in               the               evening.

It               had               been               19               hours               since               we               left               San               Francisco               and               the               sky               was               starting               to               darken.

All               of               my               food               bars               were               long               gone,               and               I               had               no               water               left.

The               hot               dog               at               the               bus               station               was               expensive,               but               it               was               the               cheapest               thing               on               the               menu,               and               there               was               no               way               I               was               going               to               mooch               off               of               my               uncle               Bill.

There               was               no               mustard               or               ketchup.

I               have               no               clue               what               animal               the               meat               came               from.

The               bun               was               stale               but               there               was               no               mold               on               it.

A               bottle               of               water               cost               me               less               than               my               bus               ticket,               but               not               that               much               less.
               After               I               got               outside               the               security               area,               I               lit               up               my               phone               and               got               a               map               to               my               uncle               Bill's               house.

He               lived               in               same               district               as               the               bus               station,               but               on               the               other               side               of               it.

It               was               about               an               hour's               hike.

The               streets               seemed               quiet,               a               few               people               but               not               that               busy               on               what               was,               after               all,               a               Sunday               night.

There               were               no               troops,               just               the               occasional               drone               hovering               over               an               intersection.

I               even               saw               some               regular               cops,               in               blues.

Stores               were               open,               and               there               were               no               lines.

I               was               relieved.

A               lot               of               the               stores               had               bank               logo               signs               blinking,               so               I               knew               my               money               cards               were               good.



I'm               glad               I               got               the               map               at               the               beginning               of               the               walk.

By               the               time               I               was               a               few               blocks               away               from               my               uncle's               house,               my               phone               was               bing-bing-binging               with               that               signal               you               get               when               they've               switched               off               the               networks.

I               had               to               rely               on               the               stored               map.

When               I               got               to               my               uncle's               house,               there               were               eight               cars               parked               on               his               lawn.

It               was               dark,               and               the               lights               were               on.

The               sound               of               voices,               that               manic,               almost               party-like               background               of               a               wake,               with               everyone               frantically               thinking               about               something               else,               spilled               from               the               open               windows.
               Uncle               Bill               answered               the               door               himself.

He               was               six               foot               seven,               and               had               a               shaggy               fringe               of               white               hair               down               to               his               shoulders,               with               a               gleaming               bald               pate.

Uncle               Bill               weighed               almost               three               hundred               pounds,               and               every               pound               of               him               was               stone               cold               drunk.

He               blubbered               and               hugged               me               on               the               doorstep,               practically               lifting               me               off               the               ground.

"Awww,               Stan!

Stan,               Stan.

I'm               glad               you               could               make               it.

Aw,               Stan!

My               baby               brother's               dead!"               I               assured               him               that               as               the               deceased's               son,               I               was               well               aware               of               the               gravity               of               the               situation,               and               asked               about               the               crowd               in               the               house.

Would               he               be               able               to               give               me               some               couch               space               for               the               night?
               Uncle               Bill               looked               grave.

"They're               all               buddies               of               mine,               come               to               help               me               get               over               my               horrible               loss."               He               scratched               his               head.

"We               only               have               beds               for               four,               and               everyone               got               their               claim               in               already."
               "What               about               Dad's               space               in               the               basement?"               I               asked.

Bill               shook               his               head.

"Rented               out               already."               Hooking               a               thumb               at               my               back               pack,               he               added,               "You               could               lay               down               a               bedroll               in               the               hallway,               if               you               like."
               Uncle               Bill               always               had               been               somewhat               self               absorbed,               and               he               never               was               all               that               warm               and               fuzzy               (unless               it               suited               him).

"What               did               Dad               leave               for               me?"               I               asked               him.

Uncle               Bill               thought               a               moment.

"Wait               here,"               he               said.

He               elbowed               his               way               through               the               crowd               of               anonymous               drunks.
He               returned               with               a               computer               memory               crystal.

"Here,"               he               said.

"there's               a               file               with               your               name               on               it.

It's               locked               up               with               security.

You               get               one               view,               and               one               printout,               and               then               it               erases,               so               I               saved               it               for               you."               I               took               it               gingerly.

"Bill!

Where's               the               ice?"               someone               yelled.

He               clapped               me               on               the               shoulder,               and               dived               into               the               crowd.

That's               the               last               I               saw               him               until               Monday               morning.

My               phone               couldn't               read               the               file,               and               the               network               was               still               down,               so               I               couldn't               download               a               new               player               or               reader.

Oh,               well.

I'd               look               it               over               on               the               way               home.
               I               had               a               drink               with               a               very               drunk               woman,               around               forty-five               but               still               lookin'               fine.

But               she               wasn't               just               drunk,               she               was               hiccup/vomiting               drunk,               and               I               had               no               intention               of               doing               anything               more               than               having               a               drink.
               When               she               finally               understood               that               I               really               meant               it               and               wandered               off               in               search               of               other               prey,               I               unrolled               my               inflatable               in               the               hallway,               put               in               some               earplugs,               and               lay               down.
               I               awoke               in               a               puddle               of               sunshine               that               spilled               from               a               side               window.

Nearby,               the               drunken               woman               from               last               night               snored               loudly,               curled               up               in               front               of               the               bathroom               door               at               the               end               of               the               hall.

I               packed               up               my               stuff               and               tiptoed               past               her,               relieved               myself,               drank               as               much               water               as               I               could               hold,               and               went               out               into               the               kitchen.
               Uncle               Bill               was               sitting               in               the               kitchen               in               his               undershirt,               still               drunk,               and               arguing               with               a               man               in               a               suit,               who,               apparently,               was               supposed               to               conduct               the               service               for               Dad.

"But               I               won't               do               it               unless               you               pay               in               advance,"               he               told               Uncle               Bill.

Uncle               Bill               looked               helplessly               at               me,               and               put               his               hand               on               a               shiny               steel               cylinder               on               the               table,               presumably               Dad's               ashes.

"Do               you               have               any               money?"               he               asked.



               The               cylinder               was               emblazoned               with               the               Health               Directorate               logo.

I               looked               at               Uncle               Bill.

"You               didn't               tell               me               it               was               the               Flu."               He               shrugged.

"The               cancer               drugs               made               him               weak.

He               got               it,               and               locked               himself               in               downstairs               to               hope               and               get               over               it.

By               the               time               anyone               noticed,               he               was               gone."               

               He               locked               eyes               with               me.

"So               you               got               any               money               to               pay               for               a               service               for               your               old               man?"               

               Between               the               two               of               us               we               came               up               with               enough               for               the               man               to               say               the               words,               although               I               had               to               throw               in               one               of               my               packs               of               tobacco,               in               addition               to               a               lot               of               my               cash               plus               a               couple               of               my               cards.



               We               stood               in               the               back               yard,               heads               bowed,               and               the               man               recited               something               from               a               old               book               of               poetry.

It               had               a               lot               of               "thees"               and               "thous"               and               said               something               about               a               better               world.

It               was               really               idealistic,               and               a               little               silly.

I               think               Dad               would               have               liked               it.

Uncle               Bill               dashed               away               at               the               end               to               retch               behind               a               bush.
               The               preacher               opened               the               cylinder,               sprinkled               the               ashes               on               some               bushes,               and               that               was               that.
               Uncle               Bill               tried               to               get               some               more               money               from               me,               but               all               I               had               left               was               the               bus               fare               home,               plus               maybe               another               couple               of               hot               dogs               and               some               water.

He               got               mad               when               I               told               him               that,               but               he               accepted               my               bottle               of               liquor               and               stomped               into               the               house,               slamming               the               door               behind               him.
               I               hoisted               my               backpack,               and               headed               for               the               bus               station.

It               took               way               less               time               than               the               hour               walk               in               the               other               direction,               the               day               before.

My               heart               was               empty,               and               I               just               wanted               to               march               along.

A               drone               followed               me               for               a               block               or               two,               humming               maybe               sixty               feet               above               me,               cameras               whining,               but               I               guess               the               cop               sitting               in               an               office               somewhere               got               bored               because               it               peeled               off               and               headed               down               a               side               street.



               As               I               waited               on               line               to               show               my               ID               and               vaccination               certificate               to               Security               so               they               would               approve               my               ticket,               my               phone               beeped.

Ah!

The               networks               were               back               up!

I               set               up               the               download               for               the               new               reader.
               After               I               got               my               ticket               stamped,               and               went               across               a               security               grid               (my               nerves               jangled               just               like               in               San               Francisco,               but               once               again,               Nick's               scanner               blinder               covered               my               butt),               I               had               a               hot               dog               and               some               water,               and               sat               on               a               bench               waiting               by               the               bus               gate.
               My               phone               rang.

My               reader               was               ready.

The               file               was               text,               very               old,               written               in               a               word               processing               program               that               was               obsolete               before               I               was               born,               but               the               write               date               was               only               two               months               ago.

I               had               to               authorize               a               charge               on               my               phone               account               for               the               reader.

It               was               high,               and               it               hurt               a               little,               the               following               month.
               The               file               was               a               letter               from               my               father.
               "I'm               sorry,               Stan,               "               he               wrote.

"My               generation               left               yours               a               hell               of               a               mess.

We               used               to               be               so               proud,               around               here."
               "We               were               mechanics               and               builders,               but               we               don't               make               anything               any               more.

We               used               to               grow               things.

Not               any               more.

We               used               to               invent               stuff."               

               "We               traveled               as               we               liked,               we               ate               what               we               wanted,               we               talked               as               we               pleased.

But               we               stopped               making               things,               and               shipped               in               things               made               by               people               overseas,               holding               them               at               gunpoint,               and               we               make               all               our               money               just               trading               paper               back               and               forth."
               Dad               was               such               an               idealist.

"We're               not               free,               and               the               country               is               gone,               and               the               world               is               polluted,               and               we're               baking               in               the               heat,               and               the               water's               rising,               and               that's               what               we               left               you.

And               we               just               don't               care               about               each               others               dreams               any               more."
               "I'm               so               sorry,               my               beloved               son.

My               best               to               you               for               a               wonderful               life               after               I               am               gone,               but               I               do               not               envy               you               this               world.

Love,               Dad."
               What               a               silly               letter.
               "The               water's               rising"?

Didn't               he               know               there               had               been               a               slowdown               in               icecap               melting?

The               water               hadn't               risen               appreciably               since               the               two-meter               surge.

If               it               hadn't               been               for               the               Quake,               San               Francisco               would               still               be               a               peninsula               and               not               an               island.

Sure,               things               were               a               mess,               but               they'd               slowed               down               some.
               Dad               was               such               a               sentimental               old               fool.

I               had               all               my               papers,               and               I               could               travel.

And               I               ate               what               I               wanted.

I'd               just               had               that               hot               dog,               my               second               meal               in               two               days               not               including               food               bars.

I               was               doing               better               than               usual.



And               certainly,               I               thought               to               myself,               the               country               was               still               here.

The               man               who               approved               my               ticket               at               Security               had               a               Stars               and               Stripes               patch               on               his               shoulder.

So               did               the               woman               watching               the               grid.

What               a               pile               of               crap.
               I               showed               my               papers               to               the               soldier               in               the               armored               suit,               and               climbed               on               board               the               bus               for               the               trip               home.
               I               still               don't               know               why               I               bothered               to               go.

I               never               did               get               around               to               making               that               one               printout               Dad's               file               would               allow               me.






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family health care modesto
family health care modesto


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family health care modesto
family health care modesto


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family health care modesto
family health care modesto


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family health care modesto
family health care modesto


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family health care modesto
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    1. Using the latest technology, laser dentistry involves specialized instruments that produce intense concentrated beams of light. This focused heat energy can aid in various types of dental procedures, often reducing bleeding, pain, and swelling.

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